Restore

[factor46]

Restore

Take all I’ve got,
This is what I’ve got,
My nothing.

What’s left is my heart,
Sitting in the palm of Your hand,
Take it and treasure it,
Like my eyes do Your face,

Take all I’ve got,
This is what I’ve got,
My nothing.

Restore my dented spirit,
It’s not even there,
I try to speak wholesome words,
But all that comes out is air,

Take all I’ve got,
This is what I’ve got,
Nothing.
My nothing.

Relieve me from me,
Soak away the filth that crowns my,
Heart.

This is what I've got.
-------------------------------------------------

tell me what you think. thanks.

[laula]

Seems like a really short song. Dunno why. I kinda like it. I recognise the Take all i've got, this is what i've got part, but meh. I do however really like Take it and treasure it, like my eyes do your face. Thats a nice line. I can't imagine what kind of song it'd be like. Maybe acoustic? but yeah. 7/10

[mshort813]

hey this is a good song. i get a emo feel when i read this and i dont know about you, but i like emo, so thats good to me. it looks like it was very well written and it flows good. i like the line:
Relieve me from me,
Soak away the filth that crowns my,
Heart.
great job with that. 8.5/10

[Baodegoth]

i like it! but i think it's a bit blank and repetitive(sp) i mean it doensn't say much. tho i like the wording. "I try to speak wholesome words,But all that comes out is air,/"Soak away the filth that crowns my,Heart."<--these two are great.
sorry, not much of a help but that's all i have to say really. 6.5/10

btw, tanx for criting mine!

[factor46]

thanks guys.

[DoubtingVada]

Restore my dented spirit,
It’s not even there,
----------------------------
Soak away the filth that crowns my,
Heart.

Those are the two best verses in the song. Overall, the song's pretty good. I can't see too much to fix ... 7/10

[theredwonder]

hey this is good stuff. for sum reason kinda reminds me a little of dashboard confessional (probably the bit about the heart). it wud b really cool to hear it with sum music, jst 2 get a real feel of it. keep em comin.

if any1 wants to crit. this i'd b happy -

http://www.musicianforums.com/forums/showthread.php?p=3861307#post3861307

(thanx 4 urs factor )

[factor46]

Originally Posted by theredwonder

(thanx 4 urs factor )

no problem man.

anyone else?

Very good. I can't see anything I would change. It flows really well and original. 9/10 (no-ones perfect). Here's your cookie (;',)

[paranoid_policeman]

If I were you I'd go into a bit more description about the heart and the spirit. That would help create images of what you're singing about and I think it would make it stand out more among other emo lyrics.

Now could you crit mine please. Its called cataracts. Thanks.

[factor46]

gotcha. thanks.

[paranoid_policeman]

You're welcome. Thanks for looking at mine.

[xHotwire5345x]

I Like This Song.. The Flow is pretty good.. This song however is kind of short.. i like how you wrote.. "Restore My Dented Spirit, Its not Even There" I get an Emo Vibe from it. I like it. Its My Kind of Music / Style.. Very Good.. 9/10.. Could You Crit Mine? This We Call A Tragedy.. its on the Front Page if not its on the second Page.. great job Overall

[ElectricMustard]

I like it, it's short but still good. You don't need to change anything. i give it 8.3/10

[upthebracket]

Take all I’ve got,
This is what I’ve got,
Nothing.
My nothing.

This part could do with working on, brings the song down a notch I feel. Apart from that it's pretty good though

Don't think it's my style of music but there are some pretty good lines

Restore my dented spirit,
It’s not even there

[factor46]

thanks everyone. anyone else?