Rock And Roll Town

BlacklightGuitarist · 07-18-2004, 06:23 PM

Rock & Roll Town
Andy Thomas

Is it rock and roll that's killing me?
Is it in my dreams, or lost at sea?
Is it in your eyes, buried deep in you?
Is it in your eyes coz I hear the plea.

Is this rock and roll town built for you?
Are the dreams we dream what we wanted to?
Are the i's we cross all becoming t,
Is it in your eyes coz this town is through.

Who's the man atop the gate,
The one we see who sits and waits,
Who holds the key to the life we leave,
To the life we taste every time we breathe,
And the lies we breed,
Every twist of fate.

Was this rock and roll town ever quiet,
Did the dreams lie not so silent,
As the ice gave way to water,
And your eyes became this violent.

Will this rock and roll town ever slaughter,
The killers of their dreams and daughers,
Will they ever dare to raise defiant,
And take arms against the giant of disorder.

Who's the man atop the gate,
The one we see who sits and waits,
Who holds the key to the life we leave,
To the life we taste every time we breathe,
To the life we waste every time we hate,
Drink life to death that we concede,
May it find you peace...

They built this rock and roll town around you,
They brought your buildings down from round you,
Left you standing on your own,
A beacon of such empty hope,
In a rut of luck they found you,
Try to cope with that your shown,
And pray your never bound, to this faithless town alone.

Rufio81 · 07-19-2004, 11:11 AM

Holy crap man! How do you do it? This is awesome, i'm a bit speechles really.

theredwonder · 07-19-2004, 01:03 PM

good. altho it kinda reminds me of david brent off the office a little (any1 no wot i mean?)

Check out this 4 sumthin completely different (altho far worse)

http://www.musicianforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=209197

aaah shameless plugging

Sloth · 07-19-2004, 08:14 PM

overall, it was bitchin...
I wouldn't change anything except for the laziness in your writing (i.e. coz instead of cause) ....but that's just my whiny self.

Quote:

A beacon of such empty hope

This was my favorite line. It really stuck out for some reason.. Props Andy

mshort813 · 07-19-2004, 08:38 PM

hey man. really great song right here. i can tell that you are a very good songwriter as it was very well written. i really liked the rhyming you used in the song. the whole song flows very good and i can easily see this transform into a good song.
"Was this rock and roll town ever quiet,
Did the dreams lie not so silent,
As the ice gave way to water,
And your eyes became this violent."
i really liked this verse or chorus or something. it was really powerful to me. and good job with the topic. im tired of hearing sad songs about death and this really worked for me. great job. 8.5/10.

mshort813 · 07-19-2004, 08:39 PM

hey man. really great song right here. i can tell that you are a very good songwriter as it was very well written. i really liked the rhyming you used in the song. the whole song flows very good and i can easily see this transform into a good song.
"Was this rock and roll town ever quiet,
Did the dreams lie not so silent,
As the ice gave way to water,
And your eyes became this violent."
i really liked this verse or chorus or something. it was really powerful to me. and good job with the topic. im tired of hearing sad songs about death and this really worked for me. great job. 8.5/10.

BlacklightGuitarist · 07-20-2004, 03:50 PM

Many thanks to all crits, and please, keep them coming... The song's about war.
Sloth, you're right, but I don't give. I prefer using 'coz' so people don't mistake it for the noun 'cause.' AND, I'm lazy... lol.

Cheers,
Andy
(hell-bent on World Domination since kindy!)

Learn2beme · 07-20-2004, 03:59 PM

hmmm i see that much more as a poem... so i dont know how it is sung... that is an AWESOME poem tho... the chorus is good... just maybe explain hopw it will be sung.

DoubtingVada · 07-20-2004, 07:06 PM

I like the whole thing, but the chorus is so much better than the verses. (I'm assuming it's the chorus, as it's repeated)

Quote:

Who's the man atop the gate,
The one we see who sits and waits,
Who holds the key to the life we leave,
To the life we taste every time we breathe,
And the lies we breed,
Every twist of fate.

I love that. And I love how it's slightly changed the second time around. Nicely done

BlacklightGuitarist · 07-21-2004, 01:38 AM

Learn2beme, it's not a poem. It would make a crappy poem, coz there's not much rhythm. How is it sung? Like good music is sung - with soul and melody... lol. It's in D.
Thanks...
Nichelle, thanks for the crit...

07-18-2004, 06:23 PM	#1
BlacklightGuitarist I want to be Trent Reznor Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Stairway To Heaven Posts: 787	Rock And Roll Town Rock & Roll Town Andy Thomas Is it rock and roll that's killing me? Is it in my dreams, or lost at sea? Is it in your eyes, buried deep in you? Is it in your eyes coz I hear the plea. Is this rock and roll town built for you? Are the dreams we dream what we wanted to? Are the i's we cross all becoming t, Is it in your eyes coz this town is through. Who's the man atop the gate, The one we see who sits and waits, Who holds the key to the life we leave, To the life we taste every time we breathe, And the lies we breed, Every twist of fate. Was this rock and roll town ever quiet, Did the dreams lie not so silent, As the ice gave way to water, And your eyes became this violent. Will this rock and roll town ever slaughter, The killers of their dreams and daughers, Will they ever dare to raise defiant, And take arms against the giant of disorder. Who's the man atop the gate, The one we see who sits and waits, Who holds the key to the life we leave, To the life we taste every time we breathe, To the life we waste every time we hate, Drink life to death that we concede, May it find you peace... They built this rock and roll town around you, They brought your buildings down from round you, Left you standing on your own, A beacon of such empty hope, In a rut of luck they found you, Try to cope with that your shown, And pray your never bound, to this faithless town alone.

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07-19-2004, 11:11 AM	#2
Rufio81 The wind is in my eyes Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 45	Holy crap man! How do you do it? This is awesome, i'm a bit speechles really.

07-19-2004, 01:03 PM	#3
theredwonder RAWR! Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: In a little place called Home Posts: 3,436	good. altho it kinda reminds me of david brent off the office a little (any1 no wot i mean?) Check out this 4 sumthin completely different (altho far worse) http://www.musicianforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=209197 aaah shameless plugging

07-19-2004, 08:38 PM	#5
mshort813 Registered User Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: NJ Posts: 1,199	hey man. really great song right here. i can tell that you are a very good songwriter as it was very well written. i really liked the rhyming you used in the song. the whole song flows very good and i can easily see this transform into a good song. "Was this rock and roll town ever quiet, Did the dreams lie not so silent, As the ice gave way to water, And your eyes became this violent." i really liked this verse or chorus or something. it was really powerful to me. and good job with the topic. im tired of hearing sad songs about death and this really worked for me. great job. 8.5/10.

07-19-2004, 08:39 PM	#6
mshort813 Registered User Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: NJ Posts: 1,199	hey man. really great song right here. i can tell that you are a very good songwriter as it was very well written. i really liked the rhyming you used in the song. the whole song flows very good and i can easily see this transform into a good song. "Was this rock and roll town ever quiet, Did the dreams lie not so silent, As the ice gave way to water, And your eyes became this violent." i really liked this verse or chorus or something. it was really powerful to me. and good job with the topic. im tired of hearing sad songs about death and this really worked for me. great job. 8.5/10.

07-20-2004, 03:50 PM	#7
BlacklightGuitarist I want to be Trent Reznor Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Stairway To Heaven Posts: 787	Many thanks to all crits, and please, keep them coming... The song's about war. Sloth, you're right, but I don't give. I prefer using 'coz' so people don't mistake it for the noun 'cause.' AND, I'm lazy... lol. Cheers, Andy (hell-bent on World Domination since kindy!)

07-20-2004, 03:59 PM	#8
Learn2beme My name is John Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Georgia Posts: 278	hmmm i see that much more as a poem... so i dont know how it is sung... that is an AWESOME poem tho... the chorus is good... just maybe explain hopw it will be sung.

07-21-2004, 01:38 AM	#10
BlacklightGuitarist I want to be Trent Reznor Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Stairway To Heaven Posts: 787	Learn2beme, it's not a poem. It would make a crappy poem, coz there's not much rhythm. How is it sung? Like good music is sung - with soul and melody... lol. It's in D. Thanks... Nichelle, thanks for the crit...